Cet jour...

My eyes are gonna fall out of my sockets

2008-07-20T06:10:58Z

I just went through 600 LJ entries. I was only gone for a week! ... damn. I have a pile of things to read and check, and that's just the fandom stuff. I have a million university-related paperwork to send off this week... I also want to write. Just sit down, have no distractions, and write. And read... I have Le Comte de Monte Cristo in French, and Shogun in English...

Anyway, vacation was fun. I love Orlando <3

I'll get back to you guys little by little!

Drabble: Fantasizing (Tooru/Yuujirou)

2008-07-19T15:34:54Z

I tried to write something with them in the airport, but nothing really good would come.... I'm having a hideous time coming up with something satisfactory with them. Oh dear. So, drabble, nothing special.

"You're having fantasies about me again, aren't you?" Yuujirou smirks when he catches Tooru watching him dress. He stretches languorously, not bothering with subtlety in the least, before slipping his sleeping shirt on.

Tooru smiles, letting them pen fall from his lips as he pushes his chair away from his desk.

"I was imagining you in a skimpy leather outfit," he teases. Yuujirou snorts in mild amusement.

"That's not fantasizing, that's our graduation after-ceremony outfits."

Tooru cringes, "You really didn't need to remind me of that."

"Sorry," Yuujirou says simply. They both know he isn't in the least. They had been his idea, after all. A golden eyebrow rises in lewd suggestion that only Yuujirou manages to make beautiful as well, though never innocent, "I think those outfits are kept somewhere in the storeroom of the home ec classroom."

Tooru stands, lessening the gap between them steadily, and Yuujirou eagerly finishes closing it. He drags his tongue along Yuujirou's bottom lip, "Sounds to me like you're the one who's been fantasizing."

DGM- Lacquer, ch. 3. (ARK)

2008-07-09T22:33:46Z

Title: Lacquer
Fandom: D.Gray Man
Pairing: ARK (AllenxLavixKanda)
Rating: PG13-
Summary: AU: Blind, deaf, and mute, they find a way to survive with each other in this war-torn castle.
Notes: Originally written for the dgm comfort exchange, now going through major editing and additions. Link goes to ff.net, but chapter 3 is here also.

FF.net: (Wisterias stand for delicacy and helplessness, while plums stand for courage and perseverance)

They are the only two boys their age, but the hand that Lavi attempts to place on Kanda’s shoulder as a sign of simple camaraderie is always brushed off with a cold shrug. There are some younger children that Lavi tells stories to when he’s bored, but all the other children have somehow managed to survive with family, and so they leave, to begin anew their life, or flee to a place not ridden by war. They are in a limbo: The younger, healthy children are sometimes compassionately taken by families traveling away from the area, or even by the patients themselves once they’re discharged, because they have taken a shining to the small, innocent creatures they are. But Kanda and Lavi don’t inspire such measures, nor are they able-bodied, and thus, not competent in the real world.

Two months in, when it becomes clear that their presence will be more permanent than the long-term recovery ward will allow, and that it’s not advisable to keep the otherwise healthy youths with those recovering patients, they are granted their own rooms in the towers. They don’t want to say forever but it is the word that sneaks by the nurses’ minds when they look at them, and the word that haunts Kanda’s thoughts when he takes a look around. The head nurse gives them mops and rags and brooms, shows them the decrepit, dusty rooms, lathered in disuse, and leaves. Lavi accepts happily, glad to be away from the moans and groans, but Kanda eyes their new ‘home’ with a bit more wariness.

Kanda doesn’t care which room is his, nor which one is Lavi’s, but he flatly refuses Lavi’s suggestion of sharing a room. In the end, Lavi picks the one next to Kanda, and they spend the day in and out of both rooms, trading mops for brooms and running off the dust with rags. Lavi slips on the soapy floor and falls face-first into the mop-water, which splashes all over his back as the bucket flips to land on Lavi’s head. Kanda fights the impulse but can’t hold back the burst of laughter at the sight. Lavi wipes his dripping bangs from his eyes to glare at Kanda, grab a wet, slushy rag, and throw it so that it lands with a wet splat on the back of Kanda’s head. The next fifteen minutes are spent in an ardent water fight that leaves them breathless with laughter and with their clothes clinging to them like a second skin. They settle down after that and continue cleaning their rooms, but Lavi occasionally flicks water at Kanda, and Kanda scrubs Lavi’s face to ‘get rid of the dirt’.

At the end of the day, when they lay on the sun-warmed stones of the castle’s entrance courtyard, Lavi rolls over to watch Kanda wring the water from his hair, and remembers the sound of his laughter.

“You don’t have a place to go to, do you?” Lavi asks one day, lying on Kanda’s bed. Kanda didn’t grant him permission to come in, but he didn’t know how to say ‘don’t come in’, and to that insufferable idiot, that had been as good as permission. Kanda looks around their now clean rooms, in a wing all set aside just for the two of them, but reasonably close to the nurses’ wing, because the nurses often ask them for help with manual labor and other errands. Kanda thinks that is indication enough of their situation. Neither of them have a place to go back to.

Kanda learns how to make his hands speak for him. He refuses at first, but when the nurse asks him what his name is, so that they could stop calling him ‘you’, Kanda realizes that he can’t go about searching for pen and paper all his life. He’s not very good at writing anyway, having only gone to school until he was ten before he began helping out with his father’s business in earnest.

Lavi watches, and depending on his mood that day, joins in the lessons as well. He catches on quicker than Kanda does, however, which Kanda will not tolerate, and it pushes him to practice, hidden in the courtyard that has become his solace, until the motions are fluid and come ever more naturally.

While Kanda practices speaking with his hands to make up for his lack of voice, Lavi practices reading lips to make up for his lack of hearing. They practice with each other, sharing uncertain glances in the summer heat.

The sky is overcast, but beads of sweat roll down their backs anyway, clinging with humidity to their skin. Kanda’s eyelashes glimmer after he scrubs his face with one hand. Their hands grip the wooden axe handles tightly, ignorant of splinters and blisters. The air resonates with the echo of the scream of broken wood.

“Hey, pass me that stump over there,” Lavi mutters, picking at a splinter in his palm.

Lavi looks up when Kanda’s form remains stoic and immobile, a beautiful sweat-slick statue with pale skin and glossy hair. His onyx-black eyes always seem to be looking straight ahead, stone cold and with the intensity of frostbite. That gaze turns to him and Lavi almost looks away to get the wood on his own, but the thump of the ax on the ground draws his gaze back to Kanda’s hands.

K. a. n. d. a.

Kanda turns away before Lavi realizes what that means.

“Your name… is that your name?”

Kanda does not respond, but Lavi reaches out a hovering hand and runs his fingers through that glossy dark hair.

The only problem with this language of motions is that only a handful of the nurses, and Lavi, know it. Kanda doesn’t mind it terribly—those are the only people he needs to talk to anyway. In a way, and this is possibly that boyish side of him coming out, the kind that liked to hide out in a secret spot in the fields and keep his sister and her girl friends from knowing—it’s actually sort of neat. Like his own secret language that he and Lavi can speak in and no one else will understand them. The other advantage to this language of hand-motions is that it allows Kanda to say things he’d never say out loud otherwise.

Kanda wakes to a shy knock on his door and blinks away the dredges of bleary sleep to replace them with a burst of adrenaline when the knock is repeated. He slips out from under the thin summer sheets and pads across the darkened room, fumbling in the dark for the doorknob. He can see a peek of light under the doorway, and the heavy oak creaks when he pulls it open.

“Um, hey,” Lavi says, grinning abashedly, candlestick in one hand. The other is fisted on the hem of his sleeping shirt. Kanda knits his eyebrows together and stands there expectantly.

Lavi ducks his head, “I couldn’t sleep.” He doesn’t offer any more than that, and several seconds pass as Kanda debates what to do. It takes him at least one of those to realize that Lavi’s purpose in coming is to gain entrance, and the rest are spent debating whether Kanda truly wants to let him in. He heaves an all-suffering sigh and stomps back to his bed, leaving the door open.

Lavi chuckles uneasily, aware that Kanda is anything but happy with the intrusion. But his books had been of no distraction, and he feels restless and lonely. His conversations with the nurses and patients don’t fill him, and he hates this feeling of being cooped up. But he has nowhere to go. He’s never traveled alone, and in this war, it’s not safe; he wouldn’t try it. He wants his grandfather back, wants to go visit his “family”, wherever their traveling has taken them. He’s never really been alone in his life. For the first time, there is no laughter surrounding him, no tales and knowledge, no warmth.

He eyes Kanda’s bed for a moment, but the milk-pale back facing him like an impassive wall is hint enough that Lavi would be refused. Instead, he sets the candle on the table and sits there, pulling his legs up to sit cross-legged on the wooden chair. Several seconds pass, silent and ghost-like as his life always is now, still save for the dancing of the shadows on the wall. Kanda shifts after a length of time, throwing a glance over his shoulder that lasts only as long as it takes Lavi to notice it.

Lavi grins despite himself, because Kanda would rather pretend he doesn’t care what Lavi is doing here as long as it doesn’t disturb him, but Lavi bets he’s dying to know inside. But Kanda is the prideful kind—Lavi sees the way his eyes shine with something close to arrogance, but Lavi really thinks it is only a self-defense mechanism, his way of proving himself capable when he can’t communicate with but a handful of people around him. It's also possibly his way of keeping people at bay while he deals with his losses. That's the way Lavi's books work for him. He supposes he could keep Kanda guessing for a while longer, but he’s not really in the mood for games. He feels heavy with more than just lack of sleep, and he runs his hands through his hair restlessly.

“…I can’t sleep when I feel lonely,” he finally admits. He supposes it should have taken more out of him to say those words than it actually did, but for some reason… though Kanda is disdainful of weakness, he, just like Lavi, has lost someone. That’s why they have no place to go to. And that’s why Lavi instinctively assumes he’ll understand, or at least not disdain him for it.

Lavi supposes he should feel sort of dumb, or embarrassed at having admitted that, but he almost feels as if he didn't say anything at all. He can't hear his own voice, and so sometimes he wonders what makes it out of his head and into the real world. He wonders if Kanda even heard it— did he speak loud enough? He never knows, and has to gage by the strength he puts behind his lungs how loud he’s speaking. He's sure he spoke, he felt the vibrations of his voice, but it's like throwing a stone in a pond and hearing no splash. He has to look to make sure that he did indeed throw the stone, and it did indeed fall into the water. Sometimes he has no proof. Conversations that he used to memorize effortlessly by recalling sounds now swim in his head like illusions.

He would have missed it, and perhaps that was Kanda’s intent, but the motion catches his peripheral vision and he sees Kanda’s hands in the air, pale and slim, with pink scars that shine when the light hits them.

Me too.

Lavi makes no mention that he noticed Kanda’s words, but stores the feeling of warmth that bubbles in him, and thinks that little by little, this will replace warmth of campfires in the woods, and that this language of silence is maybe just as fulfilling as the language of paper and voices that his grandfather taught him.

They spend an inordinate amount of time together. It’s not because of Kanda, naturally, because he would much rather sit by the creek bed by himself and meditate, or run through his calisthenics. But it’s not quite because of Lavi either, even though he is the one who initiates all contact and interactions. Lavi likes spending a lot of his time in a corner reading, but somehow they end up doing all their chores together— gathering water, chopping wood, cleaning the equipment, feeding the animals, running errands to get supplies from nearby villages…

The strangest thing of it all is that Kanda minds it much less than he expected.

And odd patient is rushed in one day, after thunder and lightning of the human kinda was seen in the nearest village the day before. They don't often take in soldiers, but Lavi sees at once why this one has been brought in. He's a child, just a year or two younger-looking than Kanda and himself. Lavi watches them bring him in, his face a battered mask of blood, his eyelid ripped and bleeding, and one arm hanging precariously by a thread of glistening muscle. Lavi wonders what a child is doing involved in this war.

Gundam 00 english voices

2008-07-09T16:06:31Z

So:

http://gundam00.bandai-ent.com/

Is the trailer for the dub for Gundam 00.... um, I'm enjoying the voices! I was kinda dubious about Cox voicing Allelujah... cause.... I always think of Inuyasha's raspy voice and I'm like, NO, ALLE, you have a cuter voice than that! But... I didn't mind it. And it will be kickass as Halle. Setsuna's sounded a bit lame/robotic, but... he is Setsuna... so that's nearly in character XD I loved Lockon's voice. And Tieria's was good too. Overall, I'm happy, but I don't know how I'll watch it, cause... I don't think I'm going to have a TV in my dorm room... so where to watch it?

Happy B-dayyyy

2008-07-09T15:27:59Z

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO cairnsy! *sparkles*

Your fics make my day, and I love everything you write <3 I've known you now for years of ... writing? Lol.

And this is why I should be shot

2008-07-09T15:24:33Z

So, I looked through some of my writing.... and it's so sad how long ago the last chapter was posted on almost all of them. I have stuff from when I was in middle school, even! Even No Backing Out, I looked at the post dates and was like... omg, the last chapter I posted was in SEPTEMBER? What the heck? I don't remember it being so long ago. I was going to swear it was in like... spring or something... Is that a signal of how times flies? I really need to like... buckle down and write. And look for scholarships. And play piano (T.T)

Anyway, vacation friday... so I'll be sporadically catching WiFi someplace during that week...

OPINION POLL

2008-07-04T05:26:53Z

Without an actual poll. So:

Special A -- any good? I just saw some graphics from it, and it looks like really nice (read: hot) quality art. Is it worth watching?

Wading through crap masquerading as hope...

2008-07-02T00:07:01Z

*fume* There is not a single good Princess Princess fic on ff.net. And I couldn't find much that wasn't like, NC-17 or something in the comms on LJ. Is it too much to ask for some good, non-crack Tooru/Yuujirou?

Also, inspiration is a fickle thing.

I've been sucked in!

2008-06-29T20:30:05Z

Oh no. So I went to the bookstore... and out of just plain curiosity picked up Princess Princess, not knowing anything about it. Just that the guy in the cover looked hot. And I got sucked in. Crap. ♥ And then I found there's an anime... and that'll tide me over until I next go to the bookstore. I didn't need another anime to keep up with! I don't need something more on my 'to finish' list....

But, what made me post was... the ENDING SONG. Omg. I mean, even if it's supposed to be a BL manga... it's not all that obvious or anything in the first two episodes... but the ending makes it very obvious. But why's Mikoto not there? It's only the bluenette and the blondie, and the redhead's not in the ending credits at all! Why? *confused* And, the president, Arisada, looked a lot cuter and a lot less creepy in the manga. *pout*

Tonight I will be at a murder mystery dinner party with a friend who came back for today from his summer college term, so that'll be fun. I'm also beginning to not really care about my weight. Meaning, I'll try again the diet I like starting tomorrow, go at it until Friday maybe, and then be pretty much done with it. Like, I'm not gonna stress about it anymore, cause it's not like I need to.

ETA: link to the ending on youtube. It's pretty much my basis for them being my favorite pairing in that show so far. Though I'll probably end up liking the princess 3some too. I'm liking the music for this stuff, like, all the background piano music too...

DGM Fanfic: Lacquer (ARK)

2008-06-27T01:37:12Z

Title: Lacquer
Fandom: D.Gray Man
Pairing: ARK (AllenxLavixKanda)
Rating: PG13-
Summary: AU: Blind, deaf, and mute, they find a way to survive with each other in this war-torn castle.
Notes: Originally written for the dgm comfort exchange, now going through major editing and additions. Link goes to ff.net, but if that is displeasing, drop a comment and I'll post on here. Chapters 1 and 2 up.

(Wisterias stand for delicacy and helplessness, while plums stand for courage and perseverance)

The average adult has only read 6 out of all 100 of these books?

2008-06-25T19:38:26Z

The Big Read thinks that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they've printed. Well let's see.

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicise ~~those you intend to read~~ the ones I read in abridged versions as a child.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Put an asterisk by the books you intend to read.
5) Reprint this list in your own LJ so we can try and track down these people who've read 6 and force books upon them ;-)

1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4. Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6. The Bible*
7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12. Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14. Complete Works of Shakespeare*
15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger*
19. The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot
21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell*
22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25. The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams*
26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky*
28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll*
30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens*
33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis*
34. Emma - Jane Austen*
35. Persuasion - Jane Austen*
36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini*
38. Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40. Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41. Animal Farm - George Orwell
42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48. The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50. Atonement - Ian McEwan*
51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel*
52. Dune - Frank Herbert*
53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen*
55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens*
58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov*
63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68. Bridget Jones' Diary - Helen Fielding
69. Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72. Dracula - Bram Stoker*
73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75. Ulysses - James Joyce
76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78. Germinal - Emile Zola
79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80. Possession - AS Byatt
81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker*
84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87. Charlotte's Web - EB White
88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94. Watership Down - Richard Adams*
95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare*
99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo*

It's pretty cool I've read a good bit of these, but there's so many here that I want to read too... a lot of it is because of school though.

List three meme!

2008-06-07T03:19:57Z

Nabbed from crsg:

Comment on this post with three people (celebrities, historical figures, anime characters, movie/TV/book characters, etc). Out of those three people I have to choose choose:

One to marry
You cannot divorce or kill them afterwards, either; this is a life-long situation.

One to have smexx with
Once and only once; you'll never even speak to each other again after the deed.

One to throw off a cliff
They won't survive the fall; there's no coming back.

My mother is so cute....

2008-05-29T02:02:35Z

Lol, so some guy is trying to get her to go out to dinner with her, and because they're friends and he's cool and stuff, she agreed, but she doesn't want to stay out late so she says, 'I have to be back by midnight because of... Bianca, what's that fruit called? (and I say, 'pumpkin, mom') Oh, right, pumpkin. So yes, as a lady I have to come back by midnight because of the Cinderella syndrome...'

And I'm just sitting there laughing at her. The Cinderella syndrome? ftw? XD

There's also the time she thought we were talking about kiwis instead of 'cuties' ... so yes, we went to the dance with a bunch of kiwis XD

Also, FAKE? Frickin awesome. It's just... a good series, if you can get over the dorkiness of it. <3

~Graduation~

2008-05-23T03:18:00Z

I have officially graduated from high school... Ceremony was last night. <3

It was a fun ceremony, the after party was amazing (I discovered RACKETBALL) and I didn't cry. I haven't cried yet...in fact, I'm not really bothered by it....

And, well, I have regrets. I wish I'd done more, hung out more, been more, but overall... you know, I've learned from that and I'll make sure to seize the day in college. And I'm just so excited about college. And so done with school. But I've made a lot of friends this year, and that's been really important to me too. Though some of us are going far away, a lot of us are staying around and so we'll be able to see each other. For the rest, there's Facebook. XD

The next week will be made up of graduation parties and trying to diet in between. Fun (^_^). The party part, at least.

Yoite: Life or Death thoughts.

2008-05-23T03:12:59Z

So, after hyatt_ayanami mentioned that it'd be cute if Yoite went back to being all little if Kira was removed from him, I got started thinking about my newest baby *huggles Yoite*. And basically, the options left to him.

I doubt he'd go back to little, since what the Kira did was suppress his natural growth spurt and compress it to a three-day period. I don't think it'd change his body, because what'd done is done. And the sad thing about that is that I don't think it would heal him either. The damage to his body has been done, he's already gotten rid of a lot of his life force. Now, he may not get -worse- if the Kira is removed from him, but I don't think he'd get any better either. And I don't think medicine can really interfere in matters dealing with 'life force'. So when I say that I want the Kira technique removed, I really just mean because I don't think Yoite likes having it, not because it would actually fix anything. And that makes me sad.

See, Miharu's in a bit of a tough position due to Yoite's wording of his wish. It's not that he wants to die, it's that he wishes he'd never existed in the first place. To me that's actually more despairing than wishing to die. Because wishing to die means he just wants his suffering to end. Wishing he'd never existed in the first place implies so much more than that. It also implies regret and loathing for his life. He doesn't just wish to stop, he wishes he'd never gone through that in the first place. It's a subtle difference, and kind of hard to explain, but I think it's true. He could ask the Shinrabanshou to fix him, or erase his past, or given him amnesia, plenty of things, if he really wanted to continue living. But he wishes that this 'Sora' had never been born, so that he could never have gone through all that pain, and because he regrets his life. So, yeah, Miharu would be being extremely selfish to force him to keep on living, since it's clear that he hates his past so much that he'd rather never have gone through it than 'fix' himself, however he could, and keep on living. of course, the Miharu/Yoite fangirl in me wants Miharu to be enough incentive to Yoite to keep on living after all.

So, the two options, quite simply: Death or life.

I have a couple situations imagined for this. One could be Yoite dying for Miharu in some epic battle near the end. Or something like that, in the midst of action type thing. The other one could be after the climax of the story (unless Yoite's deah -is- the climax, which could be it too), as in a private-ish setting, where they've realized that Yoite is reaching his final moments and have gathered to send him off. Yukimi would be there definitely. I think this brings closure in the sense that this is the moment the manga has been aiming towards always--- the end of those two months Yoite has left. And it would be terribly poignant. I think, in a sense, it would just feel like a good ending if Yoite died. Peacefully, mind you, with the knowledge that in the end there were people who cared about him and acknowledged his existence. That he was alive for a reason and with meaning, however short it might have been. Don't tell me you wouldn't remember this series more if you actually cried at the end because he died. It's a very strong possibility that he will die, just happily. Or he could die horribly regretful that he's not able to stay with Miharu, depending on how much stronger their bond becomes... *just thought of that*

Or he could live. Now, the problem with this one is that it's not so simple. I don't think he should just live so he can live. Or live so he doesn't die. If he lives, several things have to happen. One is that I think the Kira should be removed from him. Because he wouldn't be happy with the Kira, and after all the problems it has caused him, I don't think he would want to be alive with the ability to use the Kira. The other thing is that his body's condition would have to be fixed. It wouldn't be a very good existence if he remained as he is. Neither he nor Miharu would be happy like that. Now, I could see some remnants of the effects of Kira on his body being left, because it would be too miraculous an ending if he got fixed and stayed with Miharu at the end, all perfect and such. So, if this did come to pass, I think he would probably not be perfectly healthy, but he'd be well enough. The other condition is Yoite's will itself. This seems like it's coming to pass anyway, because Yoite and Miharu are becoming so close that it seems natural that Yoite will want to keep on living and not have his existence erased, as per their promise. But I don't think Miharu should force Yoite to stay alive just because. Yoite has a lot of baggage, and his newfound relationship with Miharu, Yukimi and life itself would have to overpower all his internal issues, gender identity confusion, family problems, health problems, self-confidence issues... the list goes on. All that would have to be more important than escaping the lot he's been given for him to choose to stay alive. Of course, the good/happy ending is completely plausible too, since we have the Shinrabashou. Miharu's going to use it, we all know it. It'd be pretty lame if the power that the whole show centers on is never used, once. It's sort of like Kenshin's hitokiri skills... we hear about the legendary mankiller, and never get to see him in action? That'd be pretty lame, which is why, yes, you do get to see Kenshin's killer moves... but in very select moments, and when the situation forces it. Which is the way it's going to be with the Shinrabashou. So, Miharu's going to use it. Most likely he will use it toward Yoite (It'd be a pretty crazy curveball if not), but whether he uses it to fulfill or betray their first promise is another deal entirely.

...I ended up still as confused with this as before. Will he or will he not die? Only time will tell.... <- sounds like 'on the next episode of...' cliche. <3

Of Lulu, Yoite, Nowaki and Piano

2008-05-20T14:50:49Z

So this has been an amazing weekend+

Piano recital went well. One of my best guyfriends went to watch, which made me happy, and I made no noticeable mistakes (didn't help that the piano was a really loose one, I had to work with it -_-;) And this was our end of the year recital, though I'll still be taking lessons in the summer.

I'm pretty pleased with myself because my teacher said that she's never seen someone start playing piano in the middle of high school and come out two years later playing a Chopin waltz. I was really happy to hear that, cause always in the recitals I play at the same time as the other high schoolers, who've been playing since they were in elementary school and you know, playing Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata or Rachmaninoff (however you spell him). So I was always like... hi, um, newbie here? Of course, I've been playing the violin for seven years, so that helped a lot with speeding my piano learning, because I already understood music, you know? It was just applying it to piano that was difficult.

Anyway, this new Venezuelan foodplace opened up, and OMG, they have all the stuff from home I've missed so much! Frescolita, and Tody, and cachapas and TEQUEÑOS! *swoons* It's amazing. I love it. It's having a little slice of home open up. <3 We took my friend there because he's really into Hispanic stuff-- he wants to actually major in Spanish, and his spanish is AMAZING for someone who's only taken it for three years. Like, he can hold actual conversations and understand slag and read and all that. It's incredible. Way better than my French, even if I can hold conversations too. I'm always just gawking at how much he understands when me and my mom talk.

So, Junjou Romantica. It's so... cliche and the 'fake' sex scenes are lame. I don't like them! But, unlike my friend, who doesn't like them because they're not graphic, I don't like them because they're THERE. I personally think that ruins any 'purity' (Junjou?) that it's pretending to talk about, and Misaki's still a kid, and it's just... ugh, you know how it's gonna go, because one of the cahracters is ALWAYS saying 'get off' or 'stop' but you know they're gonna do it anyway. Ha, Misaki at one point is like "I wonder why I feel awkward about him, is it because I had sex with him?" .... NO SHIT SHERLOCK. Ugh. Cause who wouldn't feel awkward around someone who nearly raped them? *rolls eyes* But whatev. I loooove Hiro and Nowaki. SO cute. And Hiro's actually hot, especially with that beanie in episode 5 or 6. Wow.

I kinda don't know why I watch this show. The artwork is terrible, in my opinion, the story is cliche, and full of fake 'stop, let me go' that never actually works, the storyline is just SO predictable, (and for me to say that is a pretty big deal, since I'm usually pretty dense about this) and the characters aren't like, particularly well-developed so far. *shrug* BUT. BUT, here's the thing.... I watched like, three episodes yesterday... and I turned into a flailing pile of fangirl goo and was just sappy and SO HAPPY that they got together and it was alright, and just... it's so cute! This has happened before, that a super lame show ended up making me ridiculously happy like this, and my theory is.... this, regardless of the lameness and the cliches, just fulfills some basic necessity to see people struggle and be happy at the end, and it makes me happy too that they're happy. (-_-'') Am I the only one?

LULU. So, me and my friend (who would marry Lulu if possible) just watched epys 5-7 of R2 yesterday. First: I'm so confused plot-wise. I forgot who Ubare was or whatever his name is, and I'm still confused at the Chinese's role in this, but... dang, that was a crazy lot of episodes. Lulu was absolutely angst ridden! I never thought I'd see him go so far in an identity crisis like that! His sister really is his biggest weakness and stregnth, it's crazy. It's sweet to see him be human too. But (SPOILERS) the scene where he's about to use Refrain? We were like... omg, Lulu, you'd go that far? Usually intelligent people know better than to do that, so it was a pretty big shocker to see him about to use drugs. Kinda wish he'd done it (>.>) Woulda been cool to see. But then, when Karen comes... that was lame. I don't see Lulu as the kind who a: has a sex drive AT ALL. or b: actually takes comfort from women. He'd probably get more comfort from a good chess game or something. ^_^;; So, I actually thought that was pretty lame when he tried to kiss Karen. And I guess despite Karen being shocked and offended at that, I was like.... you just left him there, you idiot. You realized he needs help, so why leave just cause he tried to kiss you? You slapped him, good, but he STILL NEEDS SOMEONE. And then the sap at the end of that episode about friendship and happiness... for real? That was so unlike Lulu. I mean, it was kinda nice and cute, but ... seriously? I almost thought that was a tad out of character. But I guess it shows just how badly Nunally's decision threw him in for a loop.

I love Karen. And CC. I think it's funny to see Karen, who was like a blind follower of Zero in the first season, talk back to him and stuff now that she knows it's Lulu. Of course, it's the natural thing to do, but it makes me laugh. And it's strange to see CC Karen and Lulu in a room all unmasked and unpretentious. I love it. But, with the Karen thing... I really like Karen/Lulu. I think her devotions is beautiful, and though I think it's still there, some of the respect is gone because she doesn't really respect Lelouch, she respects Zero. So... though now their relationship is more equal, I guess, I want to see her all star-struck over him again. I thought it was really sweet and touching just how much she cared about Zero, so I want her to do the same with Lulu. I guess she sort of did with that scene with the Refrain, but still. Lol. Oh, CC about to be baked? That was priceless XD The dangers of a pizza obsession.

I have the mad urge to randomly pair Lulu with Rolo and Suzaki with that new blondie hyper guy. XD

Nabari no Ou owns my soul. If you haven't checked it out..... do so. Just give the first two episodes a shot. Seriously. If you're not caught on by the first two or three epys, then leave it, but give it a shot. &hearts;

Chapter 47 of the manga nearly made me faint. Yoite and Miharu win the most adorable award EVER in my mind. Yoite was mimicking Miharu's poses! (I've said this like, three other times to different people, but I cannot get over it). I might actually tear up if Yoite dies.

Little!Lavi and Little!Kanda? You kid, Hoshino

2008-05-17T15:24:03Z

Right, DGM 159.... I suppose this is full of 'spoilers', but this chapter is crack, so they're not like.. plot spoilers whatsoever. Or character spoilers.

So, the long hair?I think Hoshino just was like.. I want to draw Allen with long hair. How shall I do that? Oh, let's have crazy potions from the science department. ANd let's have fun with that! So then it's like... hi, little Lavi and Allen (which I about just died at, how CUTE!). I was happy. I think they're adorable little kids. I'm sure there's been fanletters asking to see them as little kids and this was his way of finally fulfilling that. But for real... cats? Buny ears? Poor Bookman, as the series goes on he becomes less and less dignified *laugh*

Piano recital today. Yay. Sort of.

Thobari and Yukimi share parenting advice. And school's over. Nuff said.

2008-05-16T02:11:46Z

Okay, after trading witty repartee with koyuki_san, and with just about every one who's commented something about Yukimi, conclusion is:

THOBARI AND YUKIMI SHOULD TRADE PARENTING ADVICE.

So, so, their conversations would be something like:

"I make Yoite go to bed at nine sharp,"
"Yes, yes, that's a good time. Miharu usually has homework, but he brushes his teeth twice every night."
"Ah, I should make Yoite do that too... when he eats, he eats way too much at once. Damn brat."
"Damn manipulative brat."
"They never care about how we feel, do they?"
"Miharu doesn't like me...."
"Oh, I'm sorry. Yoite always runs off without telling me. And makes me chase him."
"He's skinny. You should feed him more."
"The hell, look who's talking. Your kid's just as thin. At least he doesn't have health problems keeping him thin like Yoite, so it's your fault."
"My fault? I always make sure Miharu goes out with a coat if it's cold, and an umbrella if it's raining! And I always put sunscreen on."
"Hm. Wow. That's some service. Yoite doesn't really let me touch him enough to put sunscreen on. Not that I've ever seen him in direct sunlight... think he's part vampire anyway."
"Ah... it's eight. I have to go make hot tea for Miharu..."
"Hot stuff should always be between 75 and 80 degrees, by the way. Wrote an article on that last month. Goodbye then. Next time give me that chicken casserole recipe. I think Yoite would like it."
"Will do. Bye Kairoushuu!"
"Bye bedhead!"
"The hell....?"

AND, AND i'm done with schoooooool!
AP exams are over, and my last day of school was yesterday because I'm exempting finals... YESSS.

Which means, yes, I'll be getting back to writing my stuff again... omg, I'm behind on so many fics (-_-;;)

PS: YOITE, I wanna hug yoouuuuu... omg, he makes me so sad, the poor darling (T_T)

Nabari no Ou: Yukimi/Yoite- Food

2008-05-12T20:46:25Z

More Yukimi/Yoite! And can you tell I'm fascinated with synesthesia?

Title: Killing Time with Food
Fandom: Nabari no Ou
Characters: Yukimi/Yoite
Rating: PG+
Length: 789 words
Summary: Yukimi watches Yoite eating.

Yukimi watched him eat. Yoite pretended not to notice, too busy shoveling the mountain of rice in his mouth, hardly taking the time to chew properly before he was swallowing and mashing the next spoonful in. Yukimi was only watching because there was nothing better to do while Leader’s next orders were being downloaded anyway.

“Does Kira make you eat like that?” Yukimi asked at length, amber wolf eyes slightly wide. Yoite wasn’t sure with what—it didn’t look like amusement. Maybe curiosity. Yukimi often acquired interest in things out of boredom, because otherwise it was fairly strict laissez-faire under his leadership. No questions asked about much, which made Yoite feel reasonably obliged to answer the few Yukimi put forth.

“…It makes up for some of the chi the Kira uses,” he mumbled around a mouthful, and immediately shoved another chunk of meat in his mouth. Sometimes he was so tired he couldn’t even taste the food. Those days, he ate to regain energy. These days, he ate because he couldn’t get enough of the sensation of food. It was like a palette of colors on his palate—the tangy cool sauce was a watery blue-green, splashed on the turquoise-brown inside of the meat, and all rolled in a bath of rice-pale yellow fluff.

The computer made a cute tingling noise that sent a flash of pink and baby blue through Yoite’s mind, and Yukimi turned around immediately to fiddle with the thing, clicking away and dismissing Yoite without another glance. Yukimi was good at computers, or at least leagues better than Yoite. Yukimi also liked customizing his computer, a lot. He was always showing Yoite some new ‘theme’ or ‘icons’ and babbling about programs that did who-knew-what, and the screen seemed to change colors and pictures every day. It made Yoite dizzy and confused. Yoite didn’t know anything about computers. He wondered if he resented it, watching Yukimi’s back bent close to the screen, tapping away at some intense rhythm only he understood.

He decided he didn’t care, and focused back on his food, slurping up the last drops of dribbling sauce and burying his face in the bowl to get at the last grains. He placed the dish beside him, next to three other bowls. Yukimi said he ate as much as three people. Yoite had to take his word for it, since he couldn’t remember how much he used to eat before he’d learned his Kira technique.

Sometimes his body was so drained it felt like a rag doll soaked in ice-cold water and then wrung dry. At that point it was almost too much trouble to eat, but he tried. For his sake, and for Yukimi too, when he went to the trouble of making or bringing him something to eat. Not that he told him, but he had the uncomfortable feeling that Yukimi saw the effort anyway. His body seemed to make up for those moments of terrible metabolism and apathy with periods of hunger so ravenous Yoite thought his stomach was being vacuumed empty, and he scrambled deliriously for something to fill the gnawing gape.

He rolled on his side, closing his eyes and letting the weight of his food-laden stomach press against the floor and nauseate him. The cotton-pale wind blew in the window, tasting of grass and peaches, while the tapping and clicking of Yukimi’s fingers prickled along his skin. He felt himself slipping into the lethargy brought on by the heat, gravity, and the dedication of his body to absorb the food he’d shoveled in it. Belatedly he realized that his skin had stopped prickling, and he caught too late the movement of Yukimi’s standing from the computer. He watched the feral, primitive grace with which he bent down to gather the empty dishes in one hand, and with the other lean forward and pick rice grains from Yoite’s coat. He watched with lidded, unfocused eyes the hand that came up and carefully wiped the remaining grains from Yoite’s jaw with a thumb that exploded in yellow warmth in Yoite’s head.

“I hope you didn’t make yourself sick like last time,” he muttered as he stood up, plates clanging in metallic star-shapes against Yoite’s mind, “I mean, is there a reason you need to stuff yourself until you explode? Like a damn anaconda, eats a boar every six months and then sleeps it off for six months until it’s time to eat again.”

He almost didn’t deign responding, but it slipped out of his mouth anyway, sleepy and nearly unintelligible, as his eyes closed, “Better than being empty…”

Yukimi’s steps paused, hesitating, and then they shuffled away into the kitchen, trailing softly against Yoite’s skin like fur until they faded.

Nabari no Ou: Yukimi/Yoite. Chatting

2008-05-12T17:31:54Z

New OTP: Yukimi/Yoite ♥

Ha, I just read some minor spoilers, and all my speculation was right about Yoite living with Yukimi and being taken care of by him, and about Yukimi's sister doing so also (though I hadn't gone so far as to specify that she's in fact his physician). And the whole losing senses thing too, and just ksfhaweda. Yoite is so much love. Poor baby.

Title: Killing Time With a Chat
Fandom: Nabari no Ou
Characters: Yukimi and Hattori, squint and you'll see Yukimi/Yoite.
Rating: PG
Length: 429 words
Summary: Yukimi has a talk with his leader about Yoite.

“You put a heck of a charge on me, Leader,” Yukimi grumbled, though there was nothing but resignation and a gruff acceptance in his tone.

“Whatever do you mean?” Hattori was amused, beckoning for him to continue with a wave of his hand. Yukimi shrugged, leaning back against the couch in a sprawl that belied the alertness of the muscles underneath, eyes half-shut as if they were not acutely aware of every motion going on around him. Hattori was pleased with his wolf.

“The kid. I don’t know what to do with him.”

Hattori raised an eyebrow, “Is there a problem with him?”

Yukimi fumbled with his bandana and pulled at his bangs, struggling to find the right words to explain a convivence founded on the knowledge of an impeding death, “Well, yes and no. I’m not really all that good with kids. He needs constant care. And I don’t mean the ‘don’t run with scissors’ or ‘don’t blow up the house’ type care. It’s… God, ‘Am I alive?’ How do you answer a question like that?” he sighed, “I’m fond of the kid though.”

Hattori smiled benignly, “You were chosen as leader for this group based on your ability, but I had a feeling he would do well under your guidance. I’m pleased to see I was not wrong.”

“Yeah,” Yukimi grinned, but it wilted around the edges as he leaned forward, fingertips pressed together. His eyes narrowed on the teacup plate on the table, white with a lacy blue border design, almost the same as the one that now lay broken in the trash at home, and remembered Yoite’s shaking, limp fingers hovering over the shards, “What did they do to him anyway? I guess that’s the price for having a power like that, but it’s more than just knowing that he’s slowly dying. I’ve never seen someone as lost with the world as he is. I mean—”

“Kazuhiko.”

Yukimi froze. The eyes watching him over the rim of the cup were cold and dangerous, speaking for themselves, “Yes, Leader?”

“Is it interfering with the mission?”

Yukimi swallowed, “No,” he stood and bowed. His eyes were guarded and fully aware of his place when he raised them again, but unrepentant, “I won’t pry anymore. But I’ll make sure his last moments are…are…” He froze. He couldn’t find the right word. Pleasant didn’t seem to apply. Unregretful didn’t either. An icicle grew in his stomach at the futility of his statement.

“Meaningful,” Hattori finished mercifully, “Thank you.”

Yukimi nodded and went back to his charge, steps heavy.

And this is how I'm wasting my day before the psychology and chemistry exams, isn't it?

Nabari no Ou and AP exams

2008-05-11T20:20:14Z

Omg, omgomgomgomomg, NABARI NO OU! How could episode 5 leave off like that? I cannot wait til next week's episode. Yoide ♥ x infinity. I really like him, and I'm super thrilled to see some interaction between him and Miharu next episode. YAY. I have a feeling I'll really like Yoide. He'll be like, angsty wonderful LOVE. Teh sadist in me is pleased with him.

If you haven't checked out this series... I"m not really sure what to say about it. I was kinda iffy about it first episode (ninjas, what the heck, in real life? GAY) But. But even if the premise was .... gay sounding, I realized it has a ton of potential. And now I really like it and want to see where it's going. The 'main' character is pretty different, I mean, you think he's just this 'I'm not interested in what's going on' type, and he is, but there's a lot more going on and it's cool to see his developing thoughts on what's going on around him, getting sort of closer to the people he's found himself with while at the same time remaining relatively unattached or unaffected. Or at least, that's the impression he gives.

The animation's good. Some of the fight scenes, due to Yoide's power, are kinda pretty creepy. But I don't think this series is all that action centered. It's more... character/philosophical aimed. Pretty cool is the thing with Tobari-sensei. It's interesting that he's the one with the stereotypical kindness ideal, while Miharu, the main character, hasn't really shown it. I think. I can't remember if he's done the whole usual 'stop, don't kill him. i will not kill people!' good-guy thing. He certainly didn't seem to care in the 5th episode. And... I thought Raimei's person was a girl? Is he not wearing girly clothes in teh opening song? *needs to look* Whatev. I'm kinda confused still about the Shinra Banshou though, because they're saying that there's no way to remove it from Miharu, but they're gonna try to come up with a way to using the forbidden techniques of the villages (flashbacks to Naruto, kthx), but in this episode Miharu was wondering if he even had it in him anymore? Where would it have gone?

Point is, I REALLY RECOMMEND THIS SERIES!

In other news, prom was last night. It was a ton of fun. I loved it alllllll. Bad thing is it's smack dab in the middle of the two AP exams weeks. Sooooo.... I have to study for Chemistry and Psychology which are both on Tuesday. gross. But, good thing is, CALCULUS WASN'T TOO BAD! It really wasn't. And Literature and Government were pieces of cake. So... now only Chemistry is the tough one! And kinda psychology cause I didn't take the first semester of class, so I need to study a whole first semester. :(

Personality Quiz

2008-04-18T23:21:46Z

My Personality


Neuroticism	4
Extraversion	18
Openness to Experience	53
Agreeableness	31
Conscientiousness	12

You are poised, confident, and clear-thinking when stressed, however you don't usually get angry too easily but some things can annoy you. You lead a leisurely and relaxed life. You would prefer to sit back and smell the roses than indulge in high energy activities. You prefer facts over fantasy and are more interested in what is happening in the real word. You are mostly a compassionate person, however you prefer to make objective judgments when possible, however you do not particularly like helping other people. Requests for help feel like an imposition on your time. You take your time when making decisions and will deliberate on all the possible consequences and alternatives.

Take a Personality Test now or view the full Personality Report.

The best Buying Pet Gifts.

I disagree with two things:

1- I actually prefer to live in my own world kinda thing, meaning, rather disconnected from reality and what's happening around me. Call it a defense mechanism. And I fantasize about my characters all the time. :)

2- I like helping people and want to. I just often don't know how, or feel that there's not much I can do, so I don't often offer.

Coffee Prince

2008-04-14T01:08:17Z

Lolz. Hilarious Korean drama about a girl who looks like a boy, right? So, she's poor, and then there's this rich spoilt guy. He doesn't want to do the matchmaking his gramma's making him go through. Through a series of very Korean-style misunderstandings and coincidences, he meets girlboy, and she finds herself forced to call him to ask for reward money for helping him out with catching a robber. He instead makes her work for him... as his fake lover so he doesn't have to deal with the matchmaking. Then, more coincidences and *gasp* situations, she starts working for him at his coffee cafe, and he starts falling in love with her, all the while thinking she's a boy. It's great. I love it. <3 It's reaaaally good, and endlessly amusing.

Spring Break

2008-04-13T02:48:05Z

Didn't do much during spring break. Except totally rearrange my room and the house. Threw away two giant bags of miscellaneous junk I hadn't used in years. The results are rather nice. I also finished a diet, with which I lost 8 lbs, which is nice also. The hard part is keeping it off. I have a hunch I'm gonna have a hard time with that because I liked candy too much. But I have to because I need to fit in my prom dress. Boo.

So, today a couple cool things happened:

masqueradingme came over. We chatted. I showed her Bus Gamer, Vampire Knight and a little bit of Wild Adapter. We watched My Neighbor Totoro. She showed me Big Bang (specifically, TOP, who totally looks like he's gonna eat you with his evil snake face until he smile sand then he's the cutest sweetheart ever) We had mandocas, a ... venezuelan food. It's really yummy. Corndough mixed with molasses, so it's sweet, and then you fry it and eat it with cheese and butter (all of that minus the molasses is pretty much staple diet. How the heck am I supposed to stay in shape with this kind of food??)
A portrait fell on my laptop. The spacebar is doing weird stuff. Not good. But at least nothing serious happened. (@.@)
I babysat. Cute kid. We watched Howl's Moving Castle (me and Miyazaki have something going on? You kid!) Okay, the cool part about this is... I got paid $60 for babysitting for four hours? I need to call tomorrow and check to see that it's not a mistake. (>.<)

Vampire Knight is awesome. I don't know why I put it off for so long. <3 And I can't wait til the next epy of Bus Gamer m(>.<)m Or Holic. Or D.Gray man, which remains incredible because Kanda is insanely hot. Btw, sutlers, I did watch the Macros thing. And even though I was insanely confused, I loved Alto ♥

animegoil @ 2008-04-01T16:10:00

2008-04-01T20:10:53Z

OMG

gundam 00

will elaborate later